sometimes it's the little things

It's amazing how the smallest of things can totally throw you of the plan.

Today, I had a healthy great breakfast. Went to church.

After church, we went to a birthday party. I was hungry. I had packed myself a larabar just in case there were no on-plan foods to eat. They did have lettuce and berries, so I made myself a delightful little berry salad, but ignored my larabar. By the time I got home, I was starving! 

I came home and didn't know what to do. I sliced up a cucumber. Ate it all.

Then I opened the jar of almond butter. BIG MISTAKE.

I polished off almost a third of a jar of almond butter because I lost control.

Stupid mistake.

And now I'm not hungry for dinner. But if I don't eat, I'll be starving at bedtime.

So I'm having a smaller dinner of kale and a chicken breast to power me through. Even though I am not quite hungry. I don't want my not eating too lead me down the path of destruction and poor choices again.

the witching hour

It never fails. Every night around 9 pm, I start craving a snack.

Everyone else is in bed.

I can finally ready something alone without having to share.

Without having to make extra for anyone else.

I'm all alone. And I want to eat.

Can't I find anything more constructive to do?

day 1, over. 29 more to go

Okay, so I ate today. Every meal, I ate until I was full. But I still don't feel satisfied. My mind keeps saying things like, "cookies, ice cream, cake, chocolate." It doesn't even make sense, because I really have eaten my full at every meal. Why does my brain do this?

The meals and one smaller snackish meal because I just could not make it through the afternoon. Hopefully I'll get better at this as it goes on.

1 meal down, 89 to go

I promise, I'm not going to post every time I eat, out every single thing I eat, out even take pictures of all of it. Because that. Is. Annoying. But I did have some thoughts today as I get started on this journey to better health, so I'm posting.

Plus it's my blog, I can do what I want.

But just for information purposes, breakfast today was an egg scramble with onions, green peppers, and mushrooms. Although it totally could have benefited from some spinach thrown in there too. Also some cheese. Definitely cheese. And I added a cup of vanilla roiboos tea to make it feel slightly decadent. It needed sugar. But in all, it was a lot of food and I feel full and that's a good thing.

So I didn't take the advice of the Whole30 people and do a fridge and pantry clean-out. Because I am cheap. And there are three other people in my home. And they will eat the good. I plan on buying less and less of the processed junk as we go on, but I just couldn't justify getting rid of it. So I guess that means I will have to battle my desires more. Sometimes it is hard being frugal, (Or a total tightwad, in my case), but this clean eating is already going to be so much more expensive, I've got to save where I can and just be strong.

It's only for 30 days. I can do anything for thirty days, right?

In other news, Gus-gus, my youngest, had chocolate cheerios for breakfast. Which he dumped his entire water glass into. Then he let them soak and proceeded to fix his hair with chocolate cheerio water. It's a good look for him and I now have a mess to go clean up. Good thing I love that kid. :-)

starting over

Post baby #2. And I really need to do something. So it's time to start over. I'm planning on starting a whole 30 the day after Easter. It seems like such a daunting task and so much planning. But everyone who I know that had done one talks about how much their energy increased. And I think that is the one thing I need most right now. More energy. Less lethargy.

Countdown to whole 30: 13 days

Currently reading: It Starts With Food

Camping

I think Mr. Incredible just realized how much he is going to miss me while I'm away at camp.  He asked me yesterday if I'd like to go camping the night we get back.  Because he wants to spend time together.  Now, it's awful sweet of him, so I don't really want to say no.

But there are lots of other reasons I do want to say no.  For example, I'd have just spent a week with 18 teenagers, I'd like the peace and quiet of my own home.  I'll miss my home.  My clothes will need to be washed.  I'd like to sleep in my own bed again. Etc, etc, etc.

But I do love Mr. Incredible.  And I love spending time with him.  So I probably won't tell him these things, because I know he won't think of them on his own.

And we'll go camping.

And I'll have fun.

And I'll just sleep in my bed on Saturday.  What's one more day, right?

Getting there

Well, I have been slacking on the exercise.  I've still been working in the garden a lot.  And I've still been eating healthy.  But I haven't been working out nearly enough.

However, I am getting a little bit ahead, which feels great.

I've got at least 3 weeks of Sunday School lessons done.  That'll get me through at least camp.
I finished my garden out back minus some small painting I want to do on some pots.
I mailed out birthday party invitations.  I've got the menu and shopping lists ready to go.

Now on my list is clean house. And do the shopping.  And I can't decide how to do the cake for the party or if we should do a cake at all...  Pack for camp.  Get my insurance sheets signed for camp.

Maybe today I'll go to the bank and do most of my shopping.  If the boys ever wake up...

I'm learning...

As I've gone on this journey, I've been learning a lot of things.  Here are two of the things I've learned.

If I eat cold cereal for breakfast, I'm going to be hungry before lunchtime and need a snack.  I think I'm just going to give up on cereal because it just doesn't keep me full long enough, no matter how much I eat.

La Preferida brand of black beans, causes my stomach to be very unhappy with me, more than any other brand of beans.  Must be something in the processing.

So far

So far this weekend, I have managed to

• finish my garden!
• have a yard sale (and make money for Disney World!)
• complete my Sunday School lesson and do a little in advance on it.
• go for a quickie grocery store visit so that Mr. Incredible has food for his lunches this week, and we have stuff for dinner tonight.

Today I am going to

• Go to church, teach Sunday School, and work in the nursery.
• Have lunch with my parents, make healthy choices.
• Hopefully send my son home with his nana.
• Finish the birthday party invitations and put them in the mail for Monday.
• Fix dinner for my family.

Let's see if I can get it all done and don't get too tired.

Semi-weekly Weigh In 6/10/2012

With getting up early for the yard sale yesterday, I forgot to do my weigh in.  I weighed today and I have lost another 3 pounds, for a total of 21 pounds.  My body is definitely trying to hold onto weight now, but I'm going to continue to try to keep it from doing that.

Fighting Tiredness

I've been extremely tired lately and haven't done much of anything with myself.  I've still been eating healthy, but haven't been exercising nearly as much as I had been.  I'm sure this week's weigh-in will reflect that fact too.  I've got a list a mile long of things I need to do, but I can't find it within myself to do them.

1) Get ready for Ezra's birthday party. I haven't sent invitations, planned the menu, gotten decorations, or made the treat bags.

2) Finish the garden out back.  I haven't gotten plants for it yet or mulched it.  Although it is all put together and ready to be done.

3) Clean the house from top to bottom before people come over for Ezra's birthday party.

4) Continue getting my walking in because camp is just over two weeks away.

5) Go grocery shopping.  We're pretty much out of food and I have no desire to go get more.  My boys are getting hungry.

6) Find more stuff for the yard sale tomorrow.  Clear out more clutter.

7) Plan my Sunday School lesson for the next 4 weeks, because I've got so much coming up, I'd like to knock that time-consuming one out of the way.

The list could go on and on.  I'm hoping to at least get # 2 and 6 done today and the invitations for #1 done this weekend.  And at least one of #4 would be good.  And part of #7.  All this weekend.  But that means I need to get moving.

It also doesn't help that I put Ezra to bed last night at 9:15 and he ended up not falling asleep until close to midnight.  For some reason, he couldn't sleep.  I eventually brought him to bed with me.  At 11:40 he says, "Mama, I got a boogey."  I was so tired, but I always like to make sure he's asleep before I am.  So I got up and got him a tissue and helped him blow his nose.  Then he eventually fell asleep with his toes stuck in my ribcage, just like when he was a baby in the womb.  Around 3 am, I was tired of getting kicked, so I carried him to his own bed.  Then my internal clock and cat woke me at 6:30.

All that to say, despite my tiredness, I've got to get moving and get some stuff done.

Weekend recap

Saturday was my grandfather's birthday.  So I managed to stay mostly on track.  A banana and a glass of milk for breakfast, an apple for snack.  We had a late lunch for his birthday and everyone brought such delicious looking food.  I chose bbq chicken over hot dogs and burgers.  Watermelon, green beans, veggies (no dip) and baked beans as my "healthier" sides.  I also had a couple of bites of pasta salad and some cracker chips.  As far as cake goes, I decided I'd rather have a pile of baked macaroni and cheese over cake.  It was sooo delicious and so worth it.  I stuck to drinking water and didn't have any dinner b/c we had a late lunch.

I also avoided the cookies at the children's musical last night, but I had to taste test a few of the ones I made.

I didn't manage to get any exercise in this whole weekend.  I was busy the whole time.  I did move lots of boxes and tables and stuff on Saturday in preparation for the yard sale.  So maybe that counts for a little movement and strength training.  I'm waiting for Agent P to get up this morning so that we can go for a walk.

food and exercise recap

Hey, I've been missing for a little bit.  I just haven't found the time to blog.  It's not highest on my list of daily priorities.  Although I really want to and like to do it.

As far as eating goes, I've been doing pretty well.  Staying within my calorie range most days.  Every now and then I'll have a flukey day, but what I've found is those days most likely come when I don't write down what I'm eating right away or at all.  So I'm renewing my commitment to "If you bite it, write it."  Also, I haven't been eating enough fruits and veggies, so I need to go back to measuring that and increasing that amount.

As far as exercise goes, I've been getting exercise pretty much every day.  I've been mixing it up and doing different things each day so that I don't get bored.  Walking, dancing, gardening, yoga.  I've just been trying to keep my schedule of activities varied, but I always try to get it in first thing in the morning.  It looks like it's raining out today, so that might put a damper on my original plan to walk today though.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy, harder day.  We're having a yard sale in the morning, and then we're going to Indy for my grandpa's 76th birthday.  I know the food there won't be the best, so I'm going to have to try and make choices that are better for me.  SO I'm putting that out here right now.  For the next two days, my plan is to make choices that are better for me out of the options that are all put before me.  Thanks for your help and support.

Weight of the Nation: Part 1

Okay, so when I first saw the info on this documentary and saw that it was on HBO, I prepared myself to be underwhelmed and over-sensationalized.  I also chuckled at the thought that overweight people are classified as couch potatoes and that this was encouraging them to sit on the couch for 4 hours of documentary watching.  But I decided to watch the first one and then decide whether or not to watch the rest.

Part 1: Consequences starts with an explanation of how the calculation of BMI (Body Mass Index) was determined.  This was really interesting to me, b/c I had never realized how it was calculated.

Then it goes into a section on the Bogalusa Heart Study.  It was a study started in 1972 to study the overall health of children.  The study continues today with many of the same people still being followed.  It has proven that heart disease begins in childhood, which is something that I never would have imagined before.  The study is in its 40th year of following over 16,000 children to adulthood.

One fact from the study that really struck me was that only 7% of children that were at healthy weights in childhood became obese adults.  So if I help my son learn how to maintain a healthy weight, he's more likely to be healthy later in life.

On the other hand, with these findings, it's easy to blame your current situation on a past you had no control over.  As a child, I didn't chose my foods, I ate what my mom put in front of me.  And my health choices began at that time.  I could easily cop-out and say, well it's not my fault.  But I do have to take responsibility for my current self and step up and say, "No more.  I'm not going to live this way anymore."

I was also surprised to find that obesity is as widespread as it is.  All states, all income-levels, all races.  Obesity no longer is limited to certain areas and people groups as it was before.

They also made a balanced case for obesity.  They didn't skew too much to either the nature or nurture argument.  Some people try to blame obesity all on genetics or all on where you grew up. Obesity is caused partially by genetics but is also influenced by environment and behavior.

Halfway through part 1, there is a section where actual doctors who have autopsied hearts show the differences between hearts of obese people versus normal people.  It was pretty disgusting and really made me realize how I need to change for my heart's sake.

One study that was highlighted in part 1 was a study where they studied people, had them gain 5% more weight and then lose that weight again over the period of several months and studied the changes in their levels and organs.  It was really interesting to see their findings in this study.

Overall, Part 1:Consequences, highlighted all of the problems created by obesity.  The list of chronic health problems is just overwhelming.  One that surprised me was: obese people are 80% more likely to have dementia because obesity even affects your brain.  It also highlighted the healthcare costs and the overall impact of the obesity epidemic.  It impacts the workforce, the armed forces, and the nation as a whole.

I found Part 1 to be very interesting, if not a little alarming.  All the health implications that they put forth in this documentary were pointing at me.  It made me see that something has to change or I would be the one having the heart attack or having a foot amputated due to diabetes.  And that's a very scary thought.  It's something that I know I don't want.  And to avoid that future, I've got to make some changes in my life.

Delayed

Sorry, no updates or recaps tonight.  I have a serious migraine and looking at this screen right now is making me hurt.  Hopefully better tomorrow.

The Weight of the Nation

I've been watching a really interesting documentary online called The Weight of the Nation.  It was shown on HBO, but is now available to watch for free on the internet.  It's a four part documentary, each part lasting about an hour.  I don't sit and watch it for long stretches, but I've been watching it little by little while folding laundry and doing mindless chores like that.

I thought it might be fun and interesting for me to post my thoughts and things I learned from each of the different parts of the film.  So expect my "review" of Part 1: Consequences tomorrow.

Full disclosure, I haven't actually finished watching Part 4 yet.  But I was completely convicted by Part 3: Children in Crisis and after watching it have really felt like I need to change my habits for the health and well-being of my son.  So I decided to pass on the info that I learned from these films, in hopes that maybe it'll help others too.

5/27/2012 food and exercise

Breakfast: A banana and some assorted berries that I took to Sunday School. 185 cal

Lunch: Tortilla soup from my favorite Mexican restaurant.  Overall, not too bad if I could just avoid eating the chips. The soup only ran me about 450 calories.  But w/ chips and bites of Agent P's enchiladas, it added up to  704 cal

Dinner:  We kind of skipped dinner tonight.  Agent P is spending the night elsewhere, so we just didn't cook anything.  Then, as it got late, we went out for blizzards, because how often are we kid free? 650 cal

Snack: A glass of milk 129 cal

Total for the day: 1668 cal, which comes in under my daily calorie goal.  I just didn't make the best choices to get there.

I worked in the garden again today.  I worked for another two hours digging up dirt and grass and hauling it to the other side of the yard.  The digging part is all finished, so tomorrow I can start laying the weed barrier, building the flower box, and planting flowers.  I just have to decide what I want to plant.  Anyway, all that heavy lifting and work in the 95 degree heat earned me a few extra calories.  Tomorrow I start back with walking, since my gardening won't be so intense.

5/26/2012 Food and Exercise

Motivated by my previous weight loss, I did pretty well today.

Breakfast was a banana and a soy chai latte from starbucks (so gooooooooood!) 324 cal

Lunch was not much, I was hot and not hungry.  A fat free yogurt, a small handful of pita chips, some veggies dipped in pico de gallo. 367 cal

Dinner was delicious, hamburgers and asparagus on the grill, fat free baked beans, and corn. And pickles. mmm.  All portioned and measured to keep track of my calories. 700 cal

For a snack, I had a weight watchers snack size vanilla chocolate cone. 90 cal (I had to wait until Agent P was in bed to eat it, otherwise he'd want one too!)

Total 1481 cal for the day.  I came in way under my new calorie goal of 1730 calories per day

Today, I gardened.  Like ridiculous amounts.  I spent 1 hr 15 minutes mowing the lawn with the heavy push mower.  I also am working on building a flower garden behind my house.  I dug up grass, carried buckets of dirt, carried landscape timbers and concrete stepping stones for almost 2 hours.  In 90 degree heat.  I am whooped and ready to go to sleep.

5/26/2012 Weigh In

So I got up this morning and I weighed myself, first thing.  I'm still not ready to tell you the exact number, but I lost 9.5 pounds since last weigh-in. That's a total of 18 pounds.  Or 23 pounds from my in-a-towel-with-wet-hair weigh-in, if you count that one, which I totally do, b/c 23 pounds sounds really impressive!  But I guess I'll go with the more accurate 18 pounds, which is still more than 5% of my original body weight.  Which makes me pretty happy.

Even though I've had slips these past two weeks (the cookie incident), I've managed to stay on track enough to lose some weight.  And I have to say, it feels good.  My pants are a tiny bit looser.  My bras fit a little bit better.  I have more energy.  And I sleep better when I exercise.

Now the bad part, when I input my new numbers into myfitnesspal, I totally lost 110 calories per day!  That means less eating every day.  But if I want to keep losing, I have to continue to eat less and less. (Teaser: More on that in a later blog, really interesting fact I found out.)

Thanks for checking in on me and for reading my blog.  The encouragement and help I've received from my friends is keeping me focused.  I've usually lost that focus by now, so thank you!

Seriously?

Something that made me laugh at the grocery last night:

Gordo's cheese dip

Gordo's?  Really?  Gordo means "fat" when translated from Spanish. I know that cheese dip probably tastes so good, but anything named "fatty's cheese dip" should really be avoided for obvious reasons.